Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Dickheads and Useless Growths

Wow, That's Wacky

Andy Dick has been arrested for drug possession and sexual battery. Could you imagine being sexually battered by Andy Dick? The image just has some sort of weird R. Crumb surrealism feeling to it. Apparently he yanked up some 17-year-old girl's shirt and exposed her breasts to a bar on his way out the door and when he was pulled over by the cops later that evening they found pot 'n' pills on him. That this story didn't end with a severe roadside beating and tasering just goes to show that our law enforcement officials have their priorities all wrong.

Holy Mole

There is speculation that Sara Jessica Parker has had her trademark mole removed through cosmetic HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK WHY AM I EVEN WRITING ABOUT THIS AND WHY THE SHIT ARE YOU READING IT! JESUS!

Opening This Friday

The big news is the "The Dark Knight" will open this Friday, with the backlash occurring approximately 24 hours later.

Also opening is "Mamma Mia!," which takes place on a Greek island and is a musical full of ABBA songs. It's sort of like clinical depression, if clinical depression had choreography and a soundtrack.

Finally, like the not-so-bright cousin the older children are forced to take along with them whenever they do something fun, is "Space Chimps," a CGI kids film about talking monkeys. How original. It barely has a marketing campaign and the preview looks as if it's trying to avoid anything entertaining. I would pity parents that end up watching this with their kids, but really they have only themselves to blame.

1 comment:

Chris said...

I am absolutely amazed that Space Chimps exists as a movie. AMAZED. Just when you think things can't get any worse - high gas prices, war, poverty, you get...Space Chimps.