Thursday, July 6, 2006


It's Driving Me Nuts
The big film opening this week is the highly anticipated "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," in which Johnny Depp once again tops the goofy meter by speaking all of his lines in Dutch and then desecrating the corpse of Barbra Stanwyck. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley play two pieces of semi-animated cardboard that help Depp during his wacky adventures, which since he's a pirate I suppose involve rape, thievery and murder.

Go Cry, Teenager
The new album by the Dashboard Confessionals debuted at #2 on the Billboard charts this week, because people are so predictable.

On the Music Calender:
New releases are expected from blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah new Mars Volta album in August.

Clap Your Hands and Say "Blah"
Because mediocrity is something we should all pay big money to see, the "American Idols Live" tour kicked off on Wednesday, but unfortunately runner-up Katharine McPhee couldn't join the first part of the tour due to a case of severe bronchitis and laryngitis. Which, you know, is just really too bad I HOPE YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON YOUR OWN BLOOD! ALL OF YOU! I'm sorry. I've got to get that under control.

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