Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Magic Powers and Painful Memories

The Anti-Christ of Comedy
The new Adam Sandler film "Click" has topped the box office since its release, grossing $40 million during its opening weekend and once again proving that God is dead and the Devil dances on his grave, celebrating the conquest of the world he can now form into another Hell.

J.K. Rowlings mentioned in an interview that two major characters will die in who the fuck cares and why is this even news?

Superman is Dead
"Superman Returns" opens tomorrow, reintroducing the world's blandest hero to the big screen and giving us all a chance to wonder what horrible, life-crippling thing will happen to star Brandon Routh. I mean really, isn't playing Superman basically like taking a hit out on yourself? George Reeves got multiple gunshots to the head, Christopher Reeve had his whole horse accident/depressing wheelchair person thing, Dean Cain had to be Dean Cain for the rest of his life and Tom Welling had his body taken over by a symbiotic fungus that now controls his thoughts (and his perverted appetites. You know what I'm talking about). I'd say there's about a one in ten chance that Routh ends up with his head on a pike in some Eastern European war zone.

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