Monday, June 19, 2006

Because Things Celebrities Say Are Important

Opening This Week
Adam Sandler stars in a new film so mundane that no one can seem to remember the name of it or what it is about, other than that the US government is optioning the film to be used as a psychological weapon. A fictionalized account of what happens to Guantanamo Bay prisoners is scheduled for release this Friday, but is matched in its ability to disturb by the release of a new documentary about Leonard Cohen.

Rich Person Breeds
In an interview recently, Angelina Jolie admits that she was "terrified" while giving birth to her daughter, though not nearly as terrified as the rest of us are at the thought of Angelina Jolie breeding.

Coming Soon...
The "Ghost Rider" comic books will get the big screen treatment, starring... Nicholas Cage? And directed by the guy who directed "Daredevil"? And it's getting released in February? Dammit. Coming in April is the latest edition of Michael Bay's personal endeavor to take a big, fat, honkin' shit on all my favorite horror movies, this time with a remake of "The Hitcher." IS NOTHING SACRED TO YOU, YOU BASTARD? CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE GOOD ENOUGH ALONE?

Smiley face time :)

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