Thursday, September 25, 2008

Opening Soon and Top Ten

Opening Tomorrow:

Tomorrow brings us the latest Oscar-bait from Spike Lee, "Miracle at St. Anna," which in some sort of strange Best Picture trifecta has managed to incorporate racial issues, religious overtones and WWII. Also opening in limited release is "Choke," the first Chuck Palahniuk adaptation since "Fight Club" (fuck you, "Fight Club").

Top Ten at the Box Office:

1. "Lakewood Terrace," in which Samuel Jackson plays an LAPD officer who torments his new interracial-couple neighbors. This is director Neil LaBute's attempt to wash away the shameful, toxic aftertaste of his "Wicker Man" remake with a punch-in-the-face obvious message film. The narration in the preview might as well just say, "The black guy is... A RACIST! It's a switcharoo!"

2. "Burn After Reading." The Coen brothers fill out the part of their contract that says they have to follow every classic with a couple of middling comedies. This film does remind me, however, that George Clooney is just about the only major Hollywood star I can actually look at and think, "You know, I don't mind that guy. I don't want him to die in a chemical fire or anything."

3. "My Best Friend's Girl." Speaking of dying in a fire...

4. "Igor." A lonely, abused outsider with dreams of greatness in a strange world, who happens to be voiced by John Cusack. This looks like gothic-light for the kiddie crowd, and I have about as much interest in it as I do in eating spoonfuls of mayo straight from the jar.

5. "Righteous Kill." Two men who have wasted their talent for a solid decade waste it together in a formulaic thriller.

6. "The Family That Preys." Tyler Perry seems to be competing in his own Shitty Family Drama Olympics. If that's the case, then he has another gold medal winner on his hands.

7. "The Women." A tale of drama, betrayal and revenge based on the 1939 classic. The entire cast, much like the audience, is female.

8. "Ghost Town." Ricky Gervais is haunted by the ghost of Greg Kinnear's acting career.

9. "The Dark Knight." Keeping Hot Topic in business for another season.

10. "The House Bunny." This is how much God hates you.

1 comment:

Melvin said...

"The Dark Knight." Keeping Hot Topic in business for another season.