Battlefield Earth Redux
Victoria Beckham has signed up for a role in a new film about Scientology that will be funded by Tom Cruise. The film, entitled "The Thetan," has reportedly been turned down by every major film studio. Ha? I'm sorry, but there is no joke or snide comment I can make about this story that will make it sound any more ridiculous than it already does. I mean it basically sounds like "The Passion of the Christ" without the built-in audience, it'll bomb something serious if it really does get released and will end up being nothing more than an artistic punch line for the rest of film history. If Tom Cruise weren't such a colossal douchbag, I'd almost feel sorry for him.
Britney Spears' vagina.
The Karma Strike Team Catches Up
So Judith Regan, the mastermind behind the "Maybe I Did Kill My Wife" O.J. Simpson shitfest of last month, was fired for some anti-Semitic remarks she apparently made. The obvious joke being that they needed an excuse to fire a soulless, immoral executive who is single handedly responsible for taking the publishing business to depths so abysmal they were starting to pound on the roof of Hell like a cranky upstairs neighbor.